The Singularity will occur on a Tuesday
“Wait, the singularity is just humans freaking out?” “Always has been.” Everyone in San Francisco is talking about the singularity. At dinner parties, at coffee shops, at the OpenClaw meetup where Ashton Kutcher showed up for some reason. The conversations all have the same shape: someone says it’s coming, someone says it’s hype, and nobody has a number. This seems like the wrong question. If things are accelerating (and they measurably are) the interesting question isn’t whether. It’s when. And if it’s accelerating, we can calculate exactly when. I collected five real metrics of AI progress, fit a hyperbolic model to each one independently, and found the one with genuine curvature toward a pole. The date has millisecond precision. There is a countdown. (I am aware this is unhinged. We’re…
