i’m getting an abortion and telling everyone i miscarried

this friday i have an abortion scheduled and i just want to vent and get it off my chest. i’m 16 weeks and feel horrible that i’m doing it, but i’m not able to raise another child combined with the dad being physically and emotionally abusive. i tried to keep telling myself that i can push thru and make it work like i did before, but i cant. i live with the dad because i have no where else to go, i don’t have a car, i got fired and can’t work because of complications and limitations.

i know this is the best thing for me to do, than to bring a baby into a world i cant care for, but i feel so horrible and guilty. i feel like i waited too long and i shouldn’t be able to. i was surprised when i called the clinic that does it and they said they could schedule me in. i have so many mental health problems and medical problems it seems like it should be the right thing, but it’s so hard to come to terms with it. i haven’t told anyone about getting an abortion, besides the dad who is gonna take me and be the driver. my friends were all planning a gender reveal for me in february and i had been excited sharing the pregnancy news, but for the last month i’ve just been terrified of having the baby anymore now that the dad has changed so much from when we found out.

i feel like a horrible person. but i know it’s the right the to do isn’t it.

edit: i keep seeing some comments being nasty and i just want to answer some questions -the dad is taking me because i don’t have any other family and my 3 friends who know don’t know the extent of how badly my mental health is -speaking of mental health, for those saying to keep the baby to give up for adoption, i will probably commit suicide before that happens because i’m not able to take the medications i need while pregnant -for those asking why i waited so long, it’s because i kept listening to people say to me “once the baby comes u will be happy” “everything will come into place when the baby gets here” who’s going to pay for it? who is going to house it? how will i get to any appointments? -why did i sleep with the dad, well let’s say it wasn’t really my choice. i’m just accepting his help at this point because after talking he doesn’t want the baby at all and i can find a way to escape once i’m not pregnant. -i was happy to be pregnant at first because the dad wasn’t this way until i told him and that stress, which doesn’t justify him hurting me, made him drink more and lash out at me to the point i just sleep in bed and leave him alone

thank u for all the kind and supportive messages, it’s helping me a lot with preparing mentally for friday and i wish i had the mental energy to show love to those showing me love. i hope this edit clears some things up

second edit: i wasn’t expecting this post to blow up as much as it did, but i’m glad i made it because even if i got a lot of hateful dms, i also have a far lot more of supportive ones and some women have reached out to me to say my post helped them with their situation similar to mine. thank u to everyone sending lovely messages, i’m reading every single one. for anyone condemning me for my choice, smd. sorry but not rly after what some people have said.