I found out my wife had an affair years ago, and she never told me. She says it doesn’t matter anymore, but I can’t let it go. AITAH?

My wife (34F) and I (36M) have been married for 8 years, together for 10. We’ve built a good life together—happy, or so I thought. Recently, while we were going through some old messages on her laptop (she asked me to help her find an email), I stumbled upon some old texts between her and a guy from work.

They were flirty, way too flirty, and when I dug a bit deeper, I realized she had an affair with this guy about six years ago, while we were married. I was shocked. She never mentioned this before, not even during the few rocky periods we had early on in our marriage.

When I confronted her, she admitted it right away. She said it was a stupid mistake, that it was brief, and that she ended it because she felt horrible about it. She said it was a tough time in our marriage and claimed she didn’t want to hurt me by bringing it up later, especially because it meant nothing and she’s been committed to me ever since.

Here’s the thing: I can’t stop thinking about it. It doesn’t feel like it’s in the past to me, even though she insists it’s irrelevant now. She says I’m overreacting and that I need to move on because we’re stronger now and this was years ago. But the trust I thought we had feels shattered.

I’m torn because I still love her, but I don’t know if I can get past the fact that she kept this from me for so long. She says it’s ancient history, but to me, it feels like it just happened.

Am I the asshole for not being able to let this go, even though it happened years ago and she says it doesn’t matter anymore?